2011: Ending something, or beginning?

So my last entry was a bit on the glum side, and to be honest, I entered 2011 with the glumness semi-continuing. It's been hard to shake off this work stuff, but I've persevered and it looks like things are starting to come good. However the situation unfolds now, it will see me in a good position, and ready to kick some arse.

I guess the turning point was talking to two of my old colleagues - and getting their perspective on things. I voiced my thoughts and they were nothing but pillars of support. I've been in digital media three years now, and I'm starting to command some genuine respect amongst my peers. It felt good to hear this respect, and no matter how I decide to take on this year, it's going to hold me in good stead.

How will I take on this year? Well it depends on how this work situation unfolds. What is this situation I keep referring to? Well, it's hard to explain unless you're in media, but essentially the client I work for is realigning their agency - which may or may not include us. I'll know in a week or so what's happening, and it will be good to have some direction. I say direction, but really, it's more catalysts for change. I think this will be my last year in Sydney, as overseas is beckoning. There are one or two things that might keep me here for a bit longer, but essentially my heart is yearning for travel. I've done Australia, my demons are behind me, and there's no more excuses.

I've been talking my intentions through with friends and colleagues and the response has been encouraging. It makes sense and it's clearly something I've invested a lot of thought in - now I just need to rub out my debt and make dreams a reality. And if there's one thing I've proven to myself it's that dreams are the sort of thing I like to chase.

On a lighter note, one dream is over. My time on my beloved Inthemix has ended by my own choosing. I retired. In the end, I like doing things on my own terms and the site isn't the same as I once knew it. Yes, I flagrantly start attention on the thing, but it's no longer an enjoyable vehicle for my rants on the Internet. I started off sharing my life on OpenDiary in 2001 and haven't really looked back, I essentially changed the vessel around 2005-2006 to ITM, and now it's time for another change of vessel, I no longer get the kicks from sharing what I have to say on there after 15,000 posts, and for better or worse I chose to end on a high note (ie. a final thread). I've made the majority of the friends I have today either directly or indirectly through the thing and I'm not going to bear ill will towards something that's given me so much. So salutations you old devil of a website you, maybe now instead of starting threads I can invest some time on here.

But what exactly is this blog apart from a vehicle for my concerns? I think in my next entry I'll set something in writing aside from 'The Scrawlings of Marshwah' as my 'angle'. And run with it. I'm leaning towards three options: keep it as it is, make it more about digital media and what's happening in the industry, or turn it into a vehicle for overshare. Actually, next time I'll do a list of the pros and cons of each.

Stay tuned.

It's an End of Year Sort of Thing

I'm cracking my fingers. Licking my lips. Have the tunes going, and am sitting down at my native keyboard.

But there's not much to report. I'm sitting in an apartment in Brisbane lamenting the weather and refreshing my Facebook and Twitter. The cricket isn't providing the sort of entertainment I envisaged.

I'm here with my family. It was a necessary move this year after avoiding the family Christmas last year. I was appreciative of the family time and stuffed myself senseless this year, but a part of me just couldn't get into it. I'm not sure what's placed me in this mini-funk, but if I could hazard a guess I would say it's a combination of amalgamated hangovers blended into one, and what's going on with work.

There's not much I can say about it on a public forum, but needless to say it's a shade unsettling and I'm looking forward to the resolution I'll have half-way through January.

I doubt I'll update again before the year's end, and while my history of sticking to them is chequered, I'd like to make a couple of resolutions.

1. Gym: three times a week at least regularly.

2. Book: Complete in 2011.

Short and simple. And totally achievable.

I wouldn't mind some travel either. Watch this space.

Thinking Big

Updating this has been at the back of my mind for the last week, but I have been rather time-poor. In amongst work, socialising, and hammering Fifa 11 I haven't had the chance to piece together an articulate entry, so you get this instead.

I've always considered myself a bit of a social media whore. I've kept my life relatively public since 2001 and have traversed the online landscape, with ICQ, discovering forums back in 2005, and even online dating (can't post links to that from work but I would be game).

I've kept it relatively stable these days and have learned some lessons. You'll notice I don't mention anybody else's name in this blog, and I'm a bit more polite on this than I am on Inthemix. I guess you get a feel for what you can or can't say across social media and what the effects are.

Or so I thought.

Three things happened over the weekend that made me reassess my social media presence, and made it seem quite small by comparison to others. The first, was my uploading my first Youtube video. There was a call-to-action through work for a video entry telling your (interesting) story to try and get a trip to New York. Being the game person I am, I submitted an entry recalling my attempts to get into media, and eventual success and struggles. It can be seen here. (Sorry can't be bothered looking at how to embed video).

Feeling aspirational, I checked out what other people have done. I stumbled across communitychannel. This was nothing short of awesome. Natalie Tran has built a cult following across the Internet by sharing skits and self-deprecating witticisms and broadcasting them for all the world to see. It's the number one channel in Australia for Youtube and in the Top 50 for the world. The level of overshare is epic, maybe not as protruding as some of my online gaffes, but definitely more endearing.

The third thing that happened was seeing The Social Network. Now let's face it. I'm ambitious but I'm never going to catch up to Mark Zuckerberg. I openly self-cringed when I saw the opening scenes of him blogging about his ex-girlfriend. Ah, my OpenDiary anyone? I pretty much did the same thing to my ex and others. Sorry about that folks - we live and learn!

So what did these three revelatory explorations facilitate for an aspirational social media whore? Do I need to ramp it up? Should I start a video blog? Can there ever really be too much online Marshy/Marshwah?

I'm thinking... nah, and if anything the combination of the above three experiences has only spurred me on to do more.

Run for cover motherfucker ;-)

My Baseline is Increasing

We all have a baseline.

And a lot of my friends would think of basslines when I mention them. But while basslines do tend to enhance my contentment levels as a dance music fan, I'm more talking about the a sense of wellbeing and contentment overall.

My baseline is increasing.

It's a gradual thing. But yep, I'm pretty sure that I'm finding basic things more enjoyable than two, five, or even ten years ago. I read the other day that you are at your happiest when you are 50, and while Google doesn't turn up a conclusive answer, I'm definitely nodding my head in some form of agreement.

When I first moved to Sydney, I had a couple of mates come up and stay, and I debated with one of them.

"Surely your twenties are the best, it's when you can party as an adult and not feel guilty."

"Nup", my friend emphatically stated, "as a 30-odd year-old I can confidently state the last year has been the best of my life."

I guess these little musings augur well for me then. And reiterate what I'm saying. As my life's progressing, I'm just finding more to find delight in.

And that's not really a bad thing at all.

The Grass Is Greener

I'm updating from my new desk. Well it doesn't feel as new as it did, given that I've been here five weeks, but it's quite alright.

Virtually all of my friends have asked me at some stage how I feel about my role now that I've made the leap over, and my answer usually comes in repeated iterations of two key words: love it, love it, love it.

I'm voyeuristic-ally vindicated. Pleasantly perplexed. Obviously obfuscating. It doesn't really matter what alliteration I throw into this entry, one fact remains the same, I'm happy to be here. Any tentative misgivings I had about moving to Sydney have ebbed away, I've reached my goal, and now I need to shift the goal posts further.

The Summer's in. I saw the personal trainer this morning. I've been going twice a week for the past four weeks. It's expensive, and I'm going to lose my bet, but I've definitely made a change for the better, and have made a habit adjustment for the better. My next little goal is to start cycling to work again, as we're in a different location, the light's better now, and it should be easier to reach from where I am. Let's hope I don't get clipped by a taxi again!

The writing's taking a backseat while I settle into my new role. I took a term off as I didn't want the distraction of something else while I was still finding my feet, but now that I'm back in alignment I'm looking forward to getting back into it. I should get credit for one of my subjects so will start on second year subjects next term. Bring it on I say.

Life-wise, I'm loving it. I'm in a good place at the moment, getting out and about with new and old friends and really nailing the work/life balance thing. This weekend we have a long weekend, I'm looking forward to watching an epic AFL grand final, getting some errands done, and then letting it all hang loose at Godskitchen - a trance music event that will have plenty of visuals.

I've got a good feeling about the rest of the year, I can feel some good energy coming my way.

Watch this space.

Getting Off One Train, and Jumping On Another

It is with a bittersweet taste that I write this entry. And I’m not just referring to the beer that’s in my mouth. I’m sitting at my work desk with the intentions of updating my blog, and I’m not at a loss of words to say what I want to say but am more feeling an underlying reluctance.

I’m glad to be leaving.

I don’t leave with bad blood or any ill will towards anyone I’ve worked here with but overall, after seven weeks of waiting to start a job that I wanted to start the second I got the offer, I’m glad to be leaving.

Now that’s said, I can get the other tidbits out of the way. I’m not going back to uni next term. With the start of the new job will come increased scrutiny, workload, and pressure. While I bit off more than I can chew this semester I’m still proud of my accomplishments. But going into a new job and trying to study at the same time just doesn’t seem like a good idea. Add to that I should get credit for the fourth subject (Journalism) in this course thanks to my undergrad degree – and I’ll have a Graduate Certificate in Arts (Writing). Not bad for six months.

What this does do, is open up the opportunity to commence the book again. It’s been on hiatus for the last six months and I’m really keen to sink my teeth in again. I’ve been thinking about how I can develop it and there is two things that stick in mind. The first is about what’s already been accomplished, and I think it could benefit from a re-write, I’m literally going to force myself to print out the work and re-type it word for word but in a more succinct/detailed style. I know this is a paradox – but there are passages that can benefit from culling, and there are passages that could benefit from much more detail. I’ve received a lot of feedback from the people I’ve chosen to share it with and the overwhelming message I’m receiving is ‘needs more detail!’ So that’s what I intend to do.

The second element is a bit more risqué, and could annoy family and my more conservative friends. That will be a more no-holds barred take on what’s happened since Perth and I’m not going to shy away from details about certain things. I’ve had quite a long time to think about it, and the book in its current state would be an omission of the whole story if I chose to end it where it lies. I think it would benefit from hearing what’s happened to me and where I’m at now.

The trouble is – is it interesting enough to be a book? Based on my past six months of thinking and learning with the Masters, I think it is, and I can’t wait to get stuck into some more writing. My trick of heading to Kiama for some coastal and Marshy time may be realised again sooner rather than later. I’m actually thinking next weekend would be a good time as it’s easier to make plans and stick to them before other things arise.

I’ll keep you posted on how I go.

The Life Plan

So I'm in for a busy week or so as I try and round off the end of this semester for uni. I've got two major assessments due on Monday and am looking to knock them on the head. I'm prepared though, and provided I don't get too distracted on the weekend it should allow me to see them through.

I'm writing from my beloved Melbourne this time. It's my last day of leave here and part of a "mini" holiday I am privy to before I begin my new job. I've got just over four weeks left in the old one before I jump straight in. To say I'm looking forward to it is an understatement of gargantuan proportions.

While I've been staying here I've been assessing what the next steps are with the whole life thing. I've come to a few conclusions. I'm gunning for Thailand in late November this year. That's a given. I haven't been overseas yet, have some of my best friends over there and I'm running out of excuses and youth. This is a no-brainer. The next steps for me career-wise are set in stone as well. I'm an account manager. I moved to Sydney with the objective of becoming one and I've nailed it. I'm looking forward to consolidating on what I've achieved and throwing myself into an industry that I've worked hard to thrive in. It will be challenging but that's what I signed up for when I moved to Sydney. So I guess in a way that's a no-brainer too.

The third phase of this will be an extended jaunt overseas. After this stage of my career I want to work abroad. In Europe specifically. I'm going to do the party thing, the working thing, the exploring yourself thing. And it's going to be everything I imagined and more. Of this I am sure. I'll miss my friends, but a perennial side-effect of staying in Australia has meant that more often than not I have friends abroad as well that I miss seeing, and this time I'll be the one that will be missed. Plus there's bound to be friends abroad around the same time. Of this I am even more sure.

I don't know how long phase three of the plan will be. It's hard to mete out these kind of things. And it would be foolish to. I'm measuring out a piece of string and leaving it at that.

Then, placed tentatively at the back of my mind, is the decision about where to settle down afterwards. Provided I return, I see myself either buying a property in the inner-West of Sydney, or plonking myself into an apartment in Melbourne's Southbank. Both options are attractive to me, and it will really hinge on where my friends are around that time and who I keep in touch with.

I came to Melbourne not really knowing what to expect or whether I'd arrive at these conclusions, but coming back home has really proven a catalyst for articulating what I plan to do with my life. Seeing friends and family again has helped facilitate this, and it feels good to have an idea of where I want to go with my life after all these years.

There's a whole myriad of things that could go wrong. My love life, the ever-present bipolar, unforeseen tragedies... but that's what makes life exciting, and I'm not in a hurry to predict whether I'll be spouting the same self-revelatory epiphanies in a year's time.

But it will be interesting nonetheless.