The view when I finished
I had a bottle of wine with a friend last night, but that's not why I'm proud. I ran one of my better times, and that's some cause to be proud, but it's not what I'm getting at either.
The music I listened to was fantastic too. I had an Ida Engberg set freshly downloaded and as I ran, the music really helped me along. A rejigged house classic came on from Jon Cutler, and the famous lyrics shouted:
If you were to find this templeI'm in that temple-discovery period at the moment.
Do you have the knowledge to enter the temple
Do yaaa want it
And if you had it would ya flaunt it
Well its yours
Normally when things are going on with my career I batten down the hatches, and go silent for a while (certainly on my blog at least). Well some hard questions are being asked at the moment and I'm not certain of all the answers to those questions.
I'm perturbed, a little unsure of myself, and finding things challenging. There are a few ways things can pan out at the moment and I'm rapidly approaching a crossroads. Some of these paths are obvious, some I'm going to have to work bloody hard for, and some are what I think to be wrong.
I'm also excited, restless, and relishing the challenge. Things are shaking up in my life and as I just ticked over at 30 years of age, it's a great opportunity to take stock of things and determine what it is I really want to do with the skills I have. And if I don't have those skills now is an excellent time to start acquiring them.
I love my sister, I was talking to her the other day about a particularly stressful life situation and she basically shouted down the phone at me something along the lines of:
You're playing it to safe, you need to get out of your comfort zone and do something that's scaryI took her advice and pulled the trigger. My stomach churned. I thought what the hell am I doing? And I giggled while I sat on my bed and grinned from ear-to-ear.
It's around then that I remembered the famous quote:
Do one thing every day that scares youIt's not hard, but it's harder than what most of us are doing now. I've been striving to do that more and more. I have my safe days, but slowly over time I think I'm getting better at pushing myself just the right amount to get where I want to be.
So here I am at my temple. I really want it. And if I get it I'm not sure if I'll flaunt it.
But when I'm running and having one of those state-of-my-life moments, when there's a million things on my mind and I instinctively wake up before dark and run over eight kilometres in under forty minutes.
Then - when I'm having one of those moments - I'm going to relish every second of it. Because shit's going down, and I chose to get out of my bed and go for a run.
That's why I'm proud of my run this morning.
If you haven't read it, or haven't discovered The Oatmeal yet, I highly recommend reading his comic on running, it's funny, articulate, and does a much better job of explaining why we enjoy running.